Nothing
by Inner Dragon
Summary: Nothing always means something. It usually means everything. Welcome to Blair's world, where the word 'Nothing' speaks volumes.


My second Gossip Girl piece of fanfiction. It's mostly just scattered scenes taken from different episodes, tied in together with a common element. The idea of 'Nothing' actually came from my English class. Anyway, do read the important author's note at the bottom of the story.

**Warnings:** **Major Season 2 Spoilers, so if you haven't seen up to Episode 20, I suggest not reading. You have been warned.**

**Pairings:** None in this oneshot; should I decide to expand into a multichapter fiction, then I'm not sure what the pairings will be. All I know is that I will include pairings in the multichapter. You guys can let me know which ones you would like best.

Obviously, I don't own Gossip Girl, or anything affiliated in any way with Gossip Girl. I do own the plot though. Hope you enjoy it!

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It's the 'nothings' that always mean something. The nothing forced out between the teeth, is the nothing that means everything. Blair knew that all too well. 'Nothing' was her favorite word, apart from 'fine'. She never got what she truly wanted. Whenever someone asked what she wanted for her birthday, she couldn't tell them all she truly wanted was Nate, so she forced out a nothing, following it up with a silly little laugh and a discreet nod towards the window of Tiffany's, where she had already put a few pieces away for reservation, so that anyone wishing to buy her a present, could see what she had already selected to her taste, and choose out of those many velvet boxes she liked the contents of. True enough, she got many of the Tiffany's pieces on her wishlist, and nothing more than that.

Blair wasn't about to tell Jenny Humphrey what was wrong, so she just settled for watching her mother and all her sycophantic assistants fawn over Serena VanderWoodsen and her stupid friend Poppy. Jenny Humphrey was the one who had ruined her seating chart anyway, just like Serena had ruined Blair's life, her relationship with their mother, and their most longstanding tradition of watching the fashion show from the backstage wings. Blair decided that if Serena wanted to dump her like last week's laundry, then she didn't need little-miss-rehabilitated VanderWoodsen either. But Blair couldn't help but find tears of frustration in her eyes as her mother told her to stop getting underfoot, and put her arm around Serena instead. Blair couldn't help but feel two tears brush their way down her cheeks as Serena strutted up and down the ramp wearing little-miss-J's green show-stopping dress. That was Blair's idea; to ruin her mother. But of course, her mother and Serena came out on top once again. When Blair screwed up, Serena was the antidote, Eleanor's perfect daughter. And that one thought was enough to make Blair stand in the middle of the backstage wings, with tears in her eyes and a lost expression on her face. She didn't think anyone would notice, but Jenny did. A Humphrey noticed her crying. Blair truly thought her social status, or whatever Serena had left of it, would be crumpling up and dying right there. But when Jenny asked her what was wrong, all Blair really had to do was hoist herself up to her full height, glare at the younger Humphrey and say "Nothing!" in a loud and carrying voice. Inside, Blair couldn't help but smile at the irony. Everything was wrong. But Jenny wasn't deterred by her vehement rebuttal. She didn't ask any more questions, but she did tell Blair that Blair was the one Jenny had wanted to be friends with…for a reason. Blair was left speechless, but she knew that Jenny's statement of conviction didn't matter. As Serena rightly proved merely five minutes later, Blair was nothing but cast-offs to her, and her mother. No, nothing was wrong. Everything was.

Soon enough it was Thanksgiving once again, and Eleanor Waldorf was having a large party, with Cyrus of course. Blair couldn't help gagging, watching their kissfest going on right in front of her, so she just rolled her eyes and started up the stairs. She must have made a noise however, because suddenly her mother was standing at the bottom of the steps, free of Cyrus, inquiring what was wrong. Blair knew it was an act; Eleanor had never cared what was wrong. Cyrus must have heard her inadvertent noise too, and asked Eleanor to come over and see what the matter was. But as concerned as Eleanor's voice sounded, Blair couldn't bring herself to do more than shake her head slightly and say "Nothing, Mother," in a murmured voice. Tears threatened to leak from behind her closed eyelids as she went over her real answer mentally, as her mind went over the fact that her father wouldn't be home for Thanksgiving this year, went over the fact that she never even spoke to her father anymore, went over the fact that Blair wasn't anybody's Blair-Bear anymore. But still, carrying all that pain and coldness, and acute sense of abandonment in her heart, all Blair could do was smile at her mother once more, and simply whisper "Nothing's wrong," before gliding up the stairs and out of view of Eleanor. Eleanor simply sighed and mumbled her only daughter's name, before walking back towards the kitchen. She wasn't blind to her daughter's pain; she knew Blair missed Harold…but there wasn't a thing that Eleanor could do about it. So it was probably just as well that Blair had answered with her usual response; "Nothing." As a matter of fact, Harold did end up visiting Blair and Eleanor that Thanksgiving, along with his new man. Blair learned to create new traditions for herself and for family that Thanksgiving, and thankfully, that one turned out okay.

When Blair was rejected for the last and final time by Yale, thanks to Rachel Carr's official complaint against her, Blair couldn't even cry. Her tears were all used up at that point, so she just sat at the bar, drinking different mixtures to try and numb the pain and disbelief. She was made aware of a touch on her thigh soon after, however, and inwardly felt repulsed. This was a high-end classy bar, and not a place where explicit moves were made. As she raised her eyes to meet the offender's, however, she was shocked, but not entirely displeased, to meet Carter Baizen's brown eyes, the ones that always held a little bit of mischief in them. She was made acutely aware of just how messed up she actually looked, several martini glasses in front of her, her hair all over the place, and her red lipstick on the rims of several glasses. And as she asked him what he was doing there, as he replied that he was buying her a drink, she felt like she could get lost in his eyes. She felt like it didn't matter who she was anymore, much less who she was with. She wanted to become the New Blair. Do everything that the Old Blair never did. Sarah Lawrence was still a hazy idea in the back of her mind, but New Blair wanted to beat the idea out. She smiled to herself. New Blair. She liked the sound of that. And New Blair was why, after being rejected by Sarah Lawrence, when Serena and Chuck Bass asked her what was wrong, all she could reply with was "Nothing", because to the New Blair…nothing was wrong. For the first time, nothing was wrong. For the first time, the answer matched the feeling inside of her. New Blair wanted a do-over. New Blair wanted a new shot at life. Maybe a new future with Nate. He was becoming more sensitive, she idly noted, watching the panic in Chuck's eyes. Chuck Bass wasn't good enough for New Blair. She could be whoever she wanted to be, and she was going to do just that. "Nothing," she repeated in their faces. "Nothing is wrong. Everything is perfect. Why should anything be wrong?" Her innocent, girly voice had asked the question, but it was with a flashing, sinister, _haunted _expression on her face, that she twisted around and pranced off into the night, leaving her companions standing there with snow collecting in their open, astonished mouths. _This is only the beginning_, her dark eyes had promised them, as they glittered under the open black sky. Only the beginning, the beginning of the New, and much improved, Blair.

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Longer than my last Gossip Girl oneshot…I'm quite pleased with how it turned out, though I'm not entirely satisfied with the ending. Oh well. I might continue this piece and turn it into a multichapter, kind of chronicling how Blair moves on with her life. It would of course be different from the way the show turned out. Or I could leave it as a oneshot. Let me know what everyone's interested in; leave a comment in your reviews regarding whether you would like it to be continued, depicting Blair's story further on – as I think it could've turned out? Or do people like this better? As always, criticism well-accepted…flames, burned.

Thanks for reading, everyone. 


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